The internet age has exponentially increased the raw speed with which the Left starts spewing nonsense about any event in the news, and the proportional raw speed with which we all start hearing about it (and laughing hysterically). Current events in Egypt are no exception to this sad little trend.
One of the first things the Left does in any crisis is immediately look to assign blame. One wonders at the source of this constant obsession with finding fault. “It wasn’t me!” is what the naughtiest children always say, while they point the finger at their little brother. Those children grow up to be leftists, apparently.
The Egyptian situation was about 7 seconds old when Chris Matthews first blamed George W. Bush. Not very original, of course, but I’ll give him points for consistency.
Ah, but there’s more blame to be spread around!
So let’s start with a few more people/places/things that we can blame for this whole mess in Egypt…
6. It’s the Jews, stupid
You know. The Jews! They own all the media, they control foreign policy – of course this is their fault. Well, that’s what Media Matters thinks, anyway. This George Soros-funded organization spends an awful lot of time accusing Glenn Beck of being anti-semitic, as Jeff Dunetz points out at the Big Journalism site, but they need to look into a big shiny mirror, because their solution, courtesy of self-hater M.J. Rosenberg, is to blame AIPAC and the so-called Israel Lobby (which Dunetz points out is just a politically correct way of saying – “da Jews”).
So this tool of the Left, Rosenberg, says that if only stubborn Israel had just implemented all of the Camp David accords, we wouldn’t be in this mess now. And it’s Israel’s fault that Yasser Arafat and Mahmoud Abbas would not agree to peace deals? Yup, apparently. And while we’re at it, Jews (of the AIPAC variety) are also capital B bad because they demonize Iran! As Rosenberg says,
“Later this spring, AIPAC will host its annual conference which will, as has been the case for a decade, feature mind-numbing warnings about the danger posed by an Iranian nuclear bomb.”Can I just point out that anyone who is not alarmed by the danger of an Iranian nuclear bomb is already the walking definition of “numb mind”?
Okay wait. It’s not the Jews and George W. Bush! It’s actually…
5. It’s global warming!
Ha ha. I’m just kidding. Even the leftists wouldn’t be dumb enough to blame the Egyptian crisis on “climate change”, for pity’s sake!
Oops, not so fast. My mistake! Apparently, they ARE dumb enough.
As Noel Sheppard reports, “climate alarmist extraordinaire” Joe Romm connects all the dots for us (punch your ticket – it’s time to get on the crazy train again!). According to Romm:
This summer’s “extreme global weather” raised fears of a COMING FOOD CRISIS involving something called GLOBAL FOOD SECURITY which is stretched to the BREAKING POINT which translates to FOOD RIOTS which means VIOLENCE THAT TOPPLES GOVERNMENTS!!!
Or as Romm puts it himself,
“Energy insecurity and climate instability have now become key factors in food insecurity, which in turn has become a key factor in toppling governments.”Food insecurity? That sounds like a malady afflicting self-conscious pre-teen girls. And similar creatures, like Joe Romm.
As Sheppard points out,
“I guess if Egyptions, after decades of poor treatment by a corrupt, authoritarian government, revolt and possibly topple said government, it’s because in the past 160 years, the planet’s temperature has risen by approximately (and debatably!) one degree Celsius.”Yeah – THAT’S IT!
All right. Now that we know whose fault all this is, time to move on to more important issues, like not wasting a good crisis!
4. Commies use Egypt to get their propaganda on
Check out this photo-that’s-worth-a-thousand-words:
Yeah. Those wacky Marxists. They support the overthrow of the Tunisian government, and the overthrow of the Mubarak regime, and the overthrow of the… wait a second. Isn’t there a word for that, when you want to overthrow the U.S. government – what is that again, the word is right there on the tip of my tongue… uh…
OH YEAH! It’s TREASON.
These commies are from the People’s Republic of Cambridge, Massachusetts. But a group of of them in Florida proved that small minds think alike.
Okay, so moving down the leftist checklist – BLAME. Check. TWIST CRISIS TO OWN POLITICAL ENDS. Check. Hmmm… what’s next?
3. Party on!
Okay, this makes sense. Just follow me here. Sunday’s supposed to be a day of rest, right? And the Anointed One is nothing if not a good Christian who likes to follow Biblical principles, right? So after putting in a solid hour of thinking and talking about the fact that Cairo was ON FIRE this past Sunday, it was long past time for a rest! Time to kick back, relax, and get your groove on with presidential suck-ups like Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner, Energy Secretary Steven Chu, and Education Secretary Arne Duncan. The occasion? A going-away party for David Axelrod, who’s headed back to Chicago to start figuring out how to get his boss re-elected. Reports indicate the Prez put in a good two hours at the party. That’s a 2-to-1 ratio of party-to-work – seems fair for a crisis day, doesn’t it? I mean, it’s not like he went and played golf or something!
And speaking of presidential suck-ups – here’s a guest list of “journalists” in attendance: ABC’s Jake Tapper; NBC’s Chuck Todd; CNBC/NYT’s John Harwood; and Major Garrett of the National Journal. I guess Garrett’s all buddy buddy now with hostess Linda Douglass, also of that very magazine. But Douglass was literally Obama’s mouth during passage of the healthcare bill, as head shill for the legislation. Good grief, what a collection of pompous windbags, all sucking up at the same time. Must have created quite a vortex there on Dupont Circle.
Anyway, the takeaway lesson is: although we don’t waste crises, we never let them get in the way of a good time, either! Don’t worry. Be happy.
Which brings us to the biggest stupid thing from the Left during this pivotal crisis…
2. Muslim Brotherhood? No worries!
Everybody just simmer down now. You see, there is a genius named Bruce Riedel who says nobody needs to concern their pretty little heads with the Muslim Brotherhood. Who is Riedel? He’s an “expert” in the Middle East who is now an Obama advisor. So he’s really, really smart and stuff. To clarify, Roger Kimball at Pajamas Media calls him a “scholar at the Brookings Institution for Triangulation, Appeasement and Reasons to Blame America First” ha ha ha. Kimball also compares Riedel to Mad Magazine’s iconic Alfred E. Neuman:
“Mr. Riedel is equal in wisdom and general outlook to Mad Magazine’s house philosopher. He has enjoyed superior dentistry, but his motto is the same: ‘What, me worry?’”See, Riedel doesn’t think the Muslim Brotherhood is scary at all. He says they renounced violence looong ago. Why, they’re really just warm-and-fuzzy Marxists, according to Riedel:
“(The Muslim Brotherhood) has an enormous social-welfare infrastructure that provides cheap education and health care.” And works to ensure things like fair elections! Well, shoot. Let’s bring ‘em over here – we could use some help on stuff like that, too.
Except: Everything Riedel says is a lie. I couldn’t put it better than Kimball does:
“The truth about the Muslim Brotherhood is somewhat – no, it is categorically different… The Brotherhood did not suddenly become violent (or ‘more violent’) during World War II. It was violent from its origins two decades earlier… the Muslim Brotherhood is about instituting sharia, i.e., Islamic law, by means of jihad.”Andrew McCarthy of National Review Online refutes Riedel directly:
“To this day, the Brotherhood’s motto remains, ‘Allah is our objective, the Prophet is our leader, the Koran is our law, Jihad is our way, and dying in the way of Allah is our highest hope. Allahu akbar!’”Riedel seems to be cut from the same cloth as the know-nothings who told us, back in the 70s, that the Ayatollah Khomeini was not to be feared. He wasn’t an Islamist extremist! No sir! He was the people’s choice, someone we could work with, after they ran the shah out of town.
Remember how that all turned out? Well, leftists don’t. They seem to be afflicted with some sort of selective memory disorder, like this dippy CNN anchor who thinks the Muslim Brotherhood has worked tirelessly and courageously to help the poor. Uh, yeah. Whatever.
These people on the Left and in the media (who are we kidding? That’s the same people!) – well, none of them are hearing the wise voices urging great caution, like the former president of the Council on Foreign Relations, Leslie Gelb:
“The Muslim Brotherhood supports Hamas and other terrorist groups, makes friendly noises to Iranian dictators and torturers, would be uncertain landlords of the critical Suez Canal, and opposes the Egyptian-Israeli agreement of 1979, widely regarded as the foundation of peace in the Mideast. Above all, the (Brotherhood) would endanger counterterrorism efforts in the region and worldwide.”And in an amazing feat of colossally mind-boggling inanity, the number one stupid thing the Left has said or done regarding Egypt…
1. The Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt is Just Like Christian Conservatives Here in the U.S.!
Of COURSE they are.
So, another loony tune professor from one of the University of California schools (I know – that’s a shocker, right?) name of Reza Aslan has apparently distinguished himself as a bona fide moron before all this. Because he argued, with a straight face, that there is no such thing as sharia law. Yup, those people in Muslim countries getting stoned and flogged and burned with acid and mutilated and killed – whatever it is, it’s NOT sharia. Let’s just be clear about that.
Now, apparently after an extended navel-gazing session, this paragon of All That Is Truth has come up with another revelation: The Muslim Brotherhood is just like self-confessed Christians Gov. Mike Huckabee and Sen. Rick Santorum. How so, you ask (as well you might). Well, it’s like this. Huckabee and Santorum, and other dumb Americans like them (read: you and me), don’t seem to understand that a healthy democracy can coincide with Islamic law and “values.” And yet – here’s the irony that just floors Professor Aslan – those SAME CHRISTIANS do see how Christianity can coincide with a healthy democracy!
See! Those Christians are HYPOCRITES, because they claim their faith works alongside democracy, but they don’t think Islam will work alongside democracy. Dumb, hypocritical Christians!
Except that… Christianity and democracy have worked together side by side for 200+ years. In fact, Christianity is a big part of the reason why we have a democratic republic now.
Of course, Islam can also be credited with working hand-in-hand with free democracies. Just look at the country of… um… [scratching my head]… uh…
To bring this full circle, remember that blame game with which we kicked off this merry tour of leftist insanity? Well, as the situation in Egypt unfolded, the Muslim Brotherhood finally weighed in with their version of who’s to blame. I know – took ‘em long enough, right? Well, here’s the verdict:
Egypt is imploding because of… (wait for it)… “America’s foolish policies.”